Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Cats Come Out at Night

* I have to attend an event this morning and have the flier in my hand with the address. Jennifer asks what it's about. I tell her. It also says that there's a breakfast involved.

"At least you'll get breakfast out of it," she says.

Christina, Barbara's rival,hears this.

"You're inviting me to breakfast," she asks. "You can get me a senior discount! I like buffets."

* We arrive in the city and pull up to the corner to get our newspapers. The guy who was "sick as a dog" yesterday runs up to us.

"How my beautiful people doing this morning," he asks, and then peers into the van. "How my ladies doing?"

People just stare at him blankly.

"I'm still sick as a dog. Wanna see?"

I immediately say yes.

"MEOOOWWWWWWW"

* I move up and sit next to Barbara. She asks me where I'm getting out. (She asks me this pretty much every day.) I tell her Fifth Avenue.

"Well, I'm getting out here," she says.

"I know," I reply. "I know everything about you."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. 142-29-2114."

Someone asks what that is.

"Barbara's social security number."

"THAT'S NOT MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!!!!"

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