Ilana Rides the Vanpool!

(EDIT: Ilana is my wife. This is her saga.)

I rode the van the week of St. Patrick's Day, which also happened to be my Spring Break. I got on with a chip on my shoulder. I thought it was incredibly rude that Barbara had told Gregg multiple times to shut up. I was for a confrontation.

(EDIT: Ilana was talking up for the days before she took the van about how she WANTED to fight with Barbara. In college, her favorite television show was Seinfeld. Like Elaine, Ilana was dubbed "The Queen of Confrontation.")

Before I continue about Barbara, I would just like to say that I was the first to point Nick/Saul sounded like Count Chokula.

Back to Barbara. Gregg got her voice down perfectly. She was dressed like I expected, clad in trousers, a blouse and a Laverne-and-Shirley style scarf around her neck. But there was one shocking discovery: Rather than the Nancy Pelosi/Hilary Clinton "power" hair-do that I was expecting, Barbara had two pig-tails tied back low at the nape of her neck.

This hair did not fit in with my pre-conceived notions. But since Barbara was everything I expected her to be and more, the hair ended up only adding to her persona.

When it came time to pay, Nick/Saul, Gregg and I pooled our money together and passed up a $20 to the front of the bus. It passed through Barbara's hand, at which point she yelled at Nick/Saul, "WHY ARE YOU PAYING WITH SUCH A BIG BILL?"

While he tried to calmly explain to her that it was for the three of us, I just yelled, "Don't worry, we've got it."

The bait was not taken. I don't even think Barbara even heard me and Gregg elbowed me to stop talking.

This was my first time on The Vanpool. But Barbra, you'd better watch out! Nobody tells Gregg to shut up but me!