A Walk to Remember

* One morning, Charlie doesn't come because the van's in the shop. I grab a seat on the bus across the aisle from Barbara and the man who was once attacked by albinos.

"I hate people," he says to Barbara. "It takes a lot for me to trust a person. There are a few words I've erased from my vocabulary. They are: wife, trust and in-laws."

* Barbara and this man recount their wild youth.

"Sometimes, I really miss my Studio 54 days," Barbara says.

"I can't believe I'm still alive," says the man who was once attacked by albinos.

* I walk from the bus with Barbara to her subway stop on Broadway. She asks me what intersection I work at. I tell her 37th Street.

She immediately makes a gagging sound.

"That's the absolute worst place you can work," she says. "And you have to deal with all of that trash on 34th Street."

I ask her what's wrong with 34th Street.

"Oh, I don't know," she says. "I'm just being snobby again."

* Charlie returns. Barbara has once again gone on another cruise.

"Oh, I've been waiting to tell you about this," Jennifer says.

I took a sick day the day before and missed out on some Barbara antics.

She purchased a pair of shoes somewhere in NYC that cost $200. However, there were many problems with the shoes. They didn't fit her properly. The heel was too narrow. The stitching wasn't sturdy.

She then took off her shoe and passed it around the van, sticking it in people's faces so they could see what was wrong with it, too.

* We pull up to the corner to pick up our newspapers.

The guy leans into the window and starts screaming, "TRICK OR TREAT! TRICK OR TREAT! TRICK OR TREAT! TRICK OR TREAT! TRICK OR TREAT! TRICK OR TREAT! TRICK OR TREAT! TRICK OR TREAT!"

We eventually pull away.

"That man is too much," chuckles John Krazisnki's Uncle.